Walk into any parenting group, chat with moms at the playground, or scroll through social media, and it’s clear: the pressure to teach early academics is everywhere.

“My toddler knows all their letters and numbers—what about yours?”
“What’s the best app for teaching letters?”
“If I don’t start teaching now, will they be behind?”

Somewhere along the way, ABC memorization and counting to 20 became the gold standard for what it means to be a “good parent.” If a child can rattle off the alphabet at two, that must mean they’re on the right track, right?

Wrong.

Early academics aren’t about letters and numbers.

The Problem with the ABCs & 123s Obsession

Let me say this loud and clear: knowing the alphabet early does not mean a child is smart or “ahead”. It just means they memorized a song.

Does that sound harsh? It’s not meant to be. But after teaching hundreds of kids how to read over the past 20 years, I can tell you firsthand: the kids who thrive in school aren’t the ones with strong ABC-singing skills—they’re the ones who understand sounds, make connections, and develop strong foundational skills for real learning.

They’re the ones who can:

• Solve problems when something doesn’t go their way
• Focus on a task without needing constant stimulation
• Communicate and express themselves without frustration
• Play independently without an adult leading the way

Those are the real life patterns that set a child up for success—not how early they can point to the letter “A”.

The Push for Academics Is About Parents—Not Kids

Let’s be real. A lot of the pressure to teach academics early isn’t actually about the child—it’s about parents.

Parents want to feel like they’re doing a good job. They want validation. They want to make sure they’re not the one parent who didn’t prepare their child enough.

And with the rise of screens and constant online comparison, that pressure has only intensified. Everywhere parents look, they see others posting about toddlers writing their names or reading sight words at three years old, and it leads to questions like:

“Should more be done?”

“Is this falling short?”

“If a child isn’t ahead, does that mean they’ll be behind?”

What Actually Matters in Today’s World?

Here’s what’s wild: while parents are doubling down on early academics, the world is shifting in the opposite direction.

The biggest challenges today aren’t about kids not knowing enough letters. They’re about kids who:

• Struggle to hold a conversation
• Lack basic problem-solving skills
• Can’t sit still without a screen
• Have trouble managing emotions and frustration

Why? Because so much emphasis has been placed on memorization, and not enough on the real skills that help children succeed.

The most valuable skills in today’s society are:

• Critical thinking (Can a child problem-solve?)
• Social skills (Can they interact with others without hiding behind a screen?)
• Independence (Can they play, explore, and learn without constant direction?)

These are the things that will carry a child through life. Not whether they knew their ABCs at two.

What Should Parents Be Focusing On?

For those feeling the pressure to start teaching early academics, the real question is: what actually matters?

Because early academics aren’t about “learning apps”, “educational toys”, worksheets, or flashcards. They’re about the small, everyday interactions that build real-world skills:

• When a child solves a puzzle, they’re learning problem-solving.
• When they play pretend, they’re developing social-emotional skills.
• When they build with blocks, they’re learning focus, patience, and persistence.
• When they navigate frustration, they’re gaining self-regulation skills.

The truth is, success isn’t about how early a child can recite letters or count to 20. It’s about whether they can think, adapt, and navigate the world around them.

Because in the end, the goal isn’t to raise a child who can simply recall information. The goal is to raise a child who can think for themselves, solve problems, and engage with the world in meaningful ways.

We don’t need more kids who can memorize. We need more kids who can create, collaborate, and innovate.

Life patterns—the ability to problem-solve, communicate, and think critically—are the foundation for everything. That’s what leads to true success.

A child who learns how to think, adapt, and explore possibilities will always be ahead.

That’s what really matters.